*Twinkle* and I are now on our way back to Tokyo from Kobe – by local train. We left our friend’s apartment 3 hours ago. We’ll arrive at home in about 8 hours time.

We’re not the only ones to have chosen this incredibly slow, but incredibly cheap way to back to the capital. At 1300 yen (£6) each, it costs a fraction of the price of a ticket on the Shinkansen (Bullet Train) – the cheapest ticket on that costing over 10 times what we’ve paid for this. This explains why this little three-carriage train is packed full to bursting , like the Yamanote line at rush hour, full of commuters making their way around central Tokyo. The man standing in just to the side of my seat has, over the past 20 minutes, moved further towards assuming the position of sitting on my lap backwards than is comfortable, but there’s not much I can do about it. I find it ironic that, in a country where there respect for others is supposed to be highly valued, people are forced into playing twister in public every time they want to go somewhere on a train.

Anyway, this train has reached the end of its short run. Changing trains at the next station, someone might be lucky enough to have my crotch in their face then…