It’s very late, and I’m very tired, but I just want to write a little about my cutey who is currently in the US.
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and that you only miss something when it’s not there – there is some truth in both.
Without wishing to dismiss the value of my previous relationships – all of which have meant a great deal to me, and all of which I remain incredibly appreciative of – (…I’m pretty sure none of my ex’s check the Mumble, although I could be wrong!), it was not until I met *Twinkle* that I actually felt that I could be happy being with someone for the rest of my life. She really is my ‘dream girlfriend’, ticking every box of the list I had lurking in the back of my mind for a few years. There were no fears that I wanted to be with this person for superficial reasons connected with sex, image, nationality, or to satisfy a temporary feeling of neediness (all of which have been motives behind previous relationships). Our relationship did not develop out of guilt either (indeed, when we met I went to considerably lengths to ensure that were we to get together, guilt could not even be considered as a factor. This made for a very interesting courtship, if I may be allowed to borrow such a term from my parent’s vocabulary!).
I am very much looking forward to her becoming my ‘dream wife’ too, and having children with her, and constantly pushing our boundaries together. She is not one to be content to let life dictate her routine. She is out there, incredibly enthusiastic and determined. In fact, I have as much (if not more) faith in her ability to succeed in anything she pursues as (than) I do in my own!
She is my absolute ideal partner, for so many reasons. She is not merely supporting me in my quest to learn and move beyond my comfort zone, but is actively pushing me into unchartered territory which is seeing me combating issues I was never aware I had. The gift of growth is a precious one.
I believe there was a very powerful force behind our meeting – she foresaw it, indeed it was a factor in her deciding to come to Sheffield (although of course she didn’t know me then).
She fits perfectly into that image of the woman that I always wanted to be with. Funny that. One might almost say that it was only to be expected…
This year has been incredible for the two of us. I think it will be very tough next year to be so far apart for so long, but I am trying to put a positive spin on things. It’s the first time I’ve felt absolutely confident in my ability to maintain a relationship over 10,000km for a year.
I hesitate to say “I don’t know what I’d do without her”, because I know that that kind of dependence is not a healthy thing (although this does not stop me thinking this at times). True love for one another sees you setting your partner free, it does not result in binding one another to systems of dependency.
…She even gets my dad’s sense of humour, a sign enough in itself!