Before I get on with this mumble, I’d just like to mention that this post is not an invitation for you to kill me.

Thank you.


These really are good times.

Whilst it is a core belief of mine that it’s important to appreciate today and not postpone the attainment of happiness for ‘tomorrow’, sometimes something will happen in my life that prompts me to question whether I really am valuing the gift of being alive.

When faced with that question, I look for an answer by asking myself another question:

“If I were to die today, would I be OK with that – is there anything I would regret not having done?”

The film Pay it forward, which I previously mentioned seeing for the first time the other day, provided one such prompt.

I used to think that I would only be able to say “Yes, I would be OK with that, and no, I would not have any regrets” if I had already accomplished everything I wanted to accomplish.

I can’t remember exactly when it was – perhaps some time last year? – but there came a point when I realised that I no longer felt the need to achieve anything in particular in order to be happy, because I was happy, and I am happy. Very happy.

If I try and determine why this is, two things come to mind: the love of my family & friends, the love of *Twinkle*, and my living in alignment with my core beliefs, which are centred around love and acceptance (Hhhmm. Perhaps I could turn this mumble into a Little Book of Happiness).

It’s a great feeling though, because it helps me deal with the pressures of consumerism (except for the Apple iPhone of course, which I absolutely must have) and social norms re. careers. I don’t need to feel pressured by others promoting a ‘better’ lifestyle, because, well, I have it already, sitting here in my little student room, with £24,000 of debt and just a couple of suitcases of ‘stuff’.

The net effect of this feeling is something that I cherish – the feeling that every day from here on is a bonus.

I wake up: “Wow! ANOTHER day! What can I do with this one I wonder?!” This doesn’t mean I feel pressured into having to do something ‘incredible’ every day, but it does prompt me to remain true to myself.

Of course it doesn’t always work. I stuff up, a lot, but that’s ok. It means I go to bed a little wiser than I woke up, even if I do have a swollen tongue from trying to lick a slice of parmesan cheese attached to a mouse trap (only did that the once).

But wouldn’t this feeling of happiness rob me of an incentive to try and ‘achieve’ altogether? It seems not. I don’t know why, but I find instead it inspires me to try and achieve more, more stuff with my passion at its core. Kinda exciting really.

I was thinking, it’s not just the film that’s made me look at these things recently, it’s the spate of stabbings, first here in the UK, and now in Japan too. It just reminds me, there may be no tomorrow, so I’d better not place happiness there.

…Well, today is an extra happy day in any case, as in the last hour Apple’s website has the announced the 3G iPhone, and an increase in storage on our family .mac account to 40GB from 10GB. What a glorious age to be alive in!

xxx joseph