I’ve reached one of those points when I’m totally disgusted with myself …again.
It’s my Japanese. It’s appalling. At least, appalling compared to the level I feel it should be at. I’m going to do something about it as it’s actually getting worse.
I keep on finding myself in situations where I can’t say what I want to say. I feel frustrated, disgusted, angry. It’s important though that I reach this stage, publicly acknowledge it – and then vow to do something about it, to push myself to take the step to recommence active study.
Starting tomorrow morning, I’ll be spending an hour each morning studying. Not at home, there’s too many distractions. There’s a cafe nearby that opens at 7:30am, and I’ll be going there.
The time I previously used to travel to work can be used to study. I value my time, and I’ll keep that thought in the forefront of my mind as I study, encouraging myself to make the most of it.
I know I sound like a broken record, I know I’ve been here before. But I believe it will be different this time. The media attention over the past few nights has resulted in some *appalling* situations where my Japanese has let me down.
I don’t want to experience such situations again. I now have concrete examples in the form of recordings of TV programs in which I have shot myself in the foot with my poor Japanese. I have had horrendous meeting experiences where my failure to communicate clearly has blown chances of collaboration. I want to replace these with big successes. With confidence when speaking to large groups of people, without hesitation when on camera. Gotta do this. I’ll regret it if I don’t.