Sometimes I feel almost overwhelmed by the number and variety of possibilities that are open to me (and to anyone) here in Tokyo (read ‘on planet Earth’).
Having made a decision a couple of months back to reach out into the community and connect with others, I have been almost dumbstruck by the things I have seen being achieved around me.
The nature of the events I’ve attended means that most of the people I meet are those who are actively shaping their lives, choosing to bring about change, both major and minor.
As a result of meeting these people, my life now is very different from that of 8 weeks ago. Perhaps my daily routine is not all that different, but my thinking and relationship with my surroundings certainly is.
It is clearer than ever that I have what I would almost call a duty to make the most of my time here, to do what I love to help others (the first stage in The Big Life Experiment Age 31~ is the podcast and videos).
Again and again I’m struck by the fact that whilst unique, I am also no different from anyone else. At the end of the day, we are all human, we are all spirit, we are all living these lives that we have been ‘given’. No-one has been ordained by any ‘God’ to do anything, to be ‘successful’, no-one is superior or inferior. It’s just that whilst some people have chosen to spend their precious 24 hours doing some things, others have chosen to do others.
You know Gandhi only had 24 hours in a day as well. That’s the same as me. And you.
Tomorrow I will start in a new role at the company that I work for. This will see me positioned in the centre of office goings-on (a part of which is politics), having to deal with the idiosyncrasies of staff that have been there far longer than I have.
I’m going to use this as an experiment. An experiment in changing a culture. As it’s an experiment, I will be free to try different approaches, without fear of failure. There is no failure, just learning.
Some might say these are dangerous times to be sticking your neck out in, with companies looking for opportunities for reduce their labour costs, but I say that these are the times that demand exactly that – people sticking their necks out to try something new, different, better.
The only rule is to remain honest, and to retain integrity – that is, to act in accordance with what my gut tells me is right, and never stoop to lying to save face or ‘win’, no matter how embarrassing or difficult that might be.
If i didn’t do this, I’d be wasting my time. A trained monkey could do my job (trained in MS Office / telephone manners etc), but I have no intention of breaking the commitment I made when I accepted the job – both a legal commitment, and a personal commitment.
Oh, there’s one more rule, and that’s that I don’t take my work home with me. 40 hours a week is already a lot to be giving over to a ‘project’ that ultimately is not a key part of my overall plan.
My thanks to my friend Tom for helping me see the opportunity here. Much appreciated.
[EDIT] Blimey, this monkey is really struggling to come to grips with all his monkey duties.
… and of course I don’t mean that everyone at my company are monkeys, because they’re not. They all do a myriad of tasks at the same time, requiring far more than just banana-skin peeling skills.
To mark the fresh start, I’ve finally said goodbye to Blogger.com, and the blue-theme of The Daily Mumble – my personal blog that on Tuesday will be celebrating its 7th birthday.
As a result of the move, the new-look Mumble can now be found at http://www.tamegoeswild.com/words. Please update your bookmarks.
If you are reading this post in an RSS reader, you do not need to do anything – the feed address remains the same.
The new site also has a mobile version – just go to the same address with your mobile device to get a list of the latest posts.
The new Mumble is powered by WordPress. I’ll be gradually transferring all of the other wordy pages from www.tamegoeswild.com (essentially my whole site except the photo section) – but along with fixing a few formatting issues on this site, that’s not a priority, so for the time being The Daily Mumble will look distinctly different from the rest of TGW, and a little odd.
I will enable thumbnail images in due course to make things a little brighter.
Using a WP database to power The Daily Mumble gives me a lot more flexibiity, and provides endless opportunities for enhancments, which will come over time.
The change is good. Whilst I have done a fair bit physically in terms of furthering my business ideas, I’m also doing a lot of mental adjustment to this new approach to life. It’s tremendously exciting, and feels like a lot (years) of preparation is finally starting to pay off.
I am determined to not let this one pass me by.
Thanks to those of you who have reaffirmed your belief in me, I truly appreciate your support.
As many of you may know, I’m an audiobook junkie. Due to my attitude towards the use of time, reading physical paper and ink books is difficult. I feel uncomfortable using my time in that way. If friends give me books, I start to read them, but usually by the time I reach page twenty I’ve either decided that the book is not worth my time, or that the book is worth getting on Audible. If an audio version is not available, I either pass the book on, or keep it for those rare occasions when I feel comfortable with the idea of reading.
Anyhow, I’m lucky to have a fellow audiobook junkie here in Tokyo – someone with whom I can swap recommended listens. Recently, he recommended ‘Manage your tune, Master your life‘ by Robin Sharma, a very short audiobook that had helped him make some positive changes. I downloaded it this morning (in addition to Obama’s speech which is available for free), and listened to it whilst on the train to the city office.
In brief, Robin points out just how precious our time is, and how important it is that we do not postpone the things that matter most to us. He gives practical advice – one suggestion being to join the 5am club. Having started my own 6am club last week, I can vouch for the amazing difference it makes to have an extra hour in the morning. Whereas many people wake up and find that they are chasing their day before it’s even started, if you get up that little bit earlier, you will find that not only can you get a ton of stuff done before the daily routine begins, but also that you entire day will be more orderly and productive. From experience, I’d say that’s very true.
Listening to Robin’s session today, I was finally compelled to do something that I’ve been wanting to do for about a month now but have been lacking in courage to face – quit one of my part-time teaching jobs. I love the students (and judging by the emotional scenes tonight the feeling was mutual), and found myself learning a lot through working there. But (as I mentioned last night) I’ve got other projects that represent my passion, and the feeling of frustration in not being able to make time to pursue them has reached epic proportions.
It was funny though. When I gave them notice this afternoon, I felt compelled to re-write my email and explain why I was quitting, and pass on some of the advice from the audiobook. I talked about 2009 being the Year of Change. I wasn’t entirely sure why, I’d only ever exchanged very short emails with them about scheduling. But next thing I knew, the member of staff who deals with foreign teachers was asking me to come in a bit early – they needed to talk to me. It turned out they since last week they have been at exactly the same crossroads as me. There were further emotional scenes.
I think we humans are pretty good at knowing when we’re not acting in harmony with spirit. If we practice being in touch, we can tell if a job is no longer in congruence with our true paths. But taking that next step – causing inconvenience and possibly upset, stepping into the unknown in the face of (sometimes strong) opposition from those around us, is incredibly hard sometimes. But it has to be taken if we’re to move forward.
I’m glad I took that step today. In the grand scheme of things it was insignificant, but carries a lot of meaning for me as I continue on my journey.
Sunset from our front door
The intense feeling of ‘being a foreigner’ is starting to fade. These past few weeks there have been several occasions when I’ve been out and about, and completely forgotten that I’m a member of the 2%(ish) minority population of non-Japanese residents in Japan.
Upon arrival back in Japan last September I often found myself thinking about how the Japanese person serving me at the supermarket might be perceiving me, or wondering whether I was being spoken to in deliberately gaijin-friendly Japanese at the bank. Having been away from the islands for over a year I found I’d regressed to those times when I didn’t understand Japanese at all, when I perceived myself as a nail sticking out. I was very much in Japan, and I felt it keenly whenever I stepped outside the door.
It would seem though that after about 4 months I’m becoming acclimatised. The areas of Tokyo I frequent (mostly Gakugeidaigaku, Shibuya and Kudanshita) and those areas outside Tokyo I infrequent (Saitama to see my in-laws) are no longer overwhelmingly ‘Japan’, they’re just ‘home’.
I think part of the reason for this is I can now get by with very little effort in any of these places. Initially, going from A to B, buying such-and-such in such-and-such a shop required planning, thought, and conscious effort. Now I can walk and shop in these places without thinking. I usually use my time spent walking checking blogs, writing emails and studying Kanji. Unless I’m somewhere that will stimulate my senses (such as a park or an area of notable architecture/interesting people) I don’t like to not be doing something else whilst walking.
I appreciate that this must seem a bit sad. Walking around eyes glued to the screen. But I don’t see it like this. Not only do I get enourmous pleasure from following the antics of my friends, acquaintances and role models around the world, but I also give myself the freedom to use my time at home (when I would otherwise be checking blogs etc) to do things that are far more constructive. I’m the kind of person that can waste hours and hours watching mindless crap on YouTube – I know I have this weakness and so have created a web usage technique for myself that prevents my doing this – it’s called using an RSS reader (NetNewsWire to be precise) on the iPhone. It discourages endless link-clicking, thus I limit myself to about 250 web-based stories a day (over half of which I only read the first line of).
Hmm, seem to have gone down a rathole there. The magnetism of the iPhone. It draws you in no matter how far away you started off. All Mumbles lead to the iPhone…
Anyway back to my gaijin bubble then, that thing that makes the difference between being in Japan surrounded by Japanese people and being on planet Earth surrounded by human people.
My gaijin bubble is thinning out. Gaps are appearing in its liquid walls. I’m finding myself interacting directly with the people around me without any awareness of there being any difference / barrier between us.
And it’s awareness that’s the key. When I recently spoke to someone about the fading of the film, I found that in that instant, just by voicing this ‘fact’, the film became even more translucent.
It’s all my perception.
I know this. I’ve always known it, only a lot of the time I choose not to acknowledge it.
Recently I’ve been pretty down on myself regarding my Japanese ability. It was just before New Year that it hit me hardest. I’m not sure what brought it on, but it’s likely to have been my experience at the office, as that’s where I struggle the most with clear communication. Thus, New Year at the in-laws saw a pretty quiet Joseph, a passive participant. I surprised myself.
I decided to stop that this morning. I decided that I could speak Japanese, and that I was actually pretty good at it. It shouldn’t have come as any surprise then when a couple of hours later I found myself watching Joseph explain to a colleague, in Japanese, the workings of the new database (new as of this morning when I completed phase one of the merger of my new Access database with an existing Access databases – the two miraculously agreed to talk with each other).
Hey, I’m not that bad at Japanese after all. I just thought I was pants. That’s pretty cool. What else can I think into existence?
Ah yes, the problematic relationship with that colleague. How about a resolution? Hey presto! at 3.30pm it was solved, the problematic relationship made a 360 degree turn. It wouldn’t have happened had I not decided that there was ultimately no problem between us.
I’m currently on my second listen of The New Psycho-cybernetics, which I’m finding very inspiring [what is psycho-cybernetics?]. I’ve Mumbled about it before, and I’ll say again what I said then: there’s nothing in this book that you haven’t read in The Secret or any of Anthony Robbins’ books. Nonetheless, I like the approach, and it motivates me to act. It’s this book that has encouraged me to shift my perception of things like my gaijin bubble or ‘lack of Japanese language skills’.
This past week has (not unsurprisingly) seen an abundance of blog posts containing reviews of 2008. I considered writing one myself, but decided that it’ll be easier to get someone else to do that for me when I can afford to outsource the revamp of my website and the drafting of my autobiography 🙂 But still, I found other people’s reviews pretty thought provoking. Some were in the form of meme’s, encouraging the authors to not only list what they had achieved, but also to detail how they thought they’d changed over the previous 12 months (for example, see this one by my friend the talking orchid).
This got me thinking about how I’ve grown over the past 12 months. Of course, marriage has been the biggy for me, and I must say the last 4 months since the wedding have taught me a lot about myself that I didn’t necessarily want to know. I’m fortunate to live in an age in which emotional intelligence is considered a great asset and not some feminine weakness, and thus I am encouraged to act on bringing my behaviour back in alignment with what I know is ultimately right, rather than what is merely considered ‘ok’ by society at large. *Twinkle* has no complaints, I’ve not been a bad husband, but I know I can be a better husband. There have been times when I have held my love back when I have (unreasonably) felt threatened or undermined by her behaviour. She deserves my love and support at all times, no exceptions.
I’m also glad I had a few ‘serious’ relationships before meeting her. I recall times when, if challenged, I would only be able to rest when my partner was feeling thoroughly wretched.
How horrendous is that?
However, whilst of course I am very sorry to have hurt my partners I am also grateful to have had the opportunity to learn in situations where the stakes weren’t quite so high, thus *Twinkle* doesn’t have to put up with all that kind of crap (it’s not a path I recommend though. If possible just be perfect from birth).
Anyway, It’s taken New Year to make me act on this one. It’s only too easy to get into sloppy patterns of behaviour. Once in that rut one can forget what life was like when one was free, acting in accordance with high-energy spirit. The effort required to ‘be nice’ when one really doesn’t want to be nice isn’t actually an effort at all, as the benefits (which are soon felt) are so great they act like helium balloons, pulling you up. The only effort is in making that initial decision.
This reminds me of Wayne Dyer’s work – he often speaks of high and low energy cycles. (There is a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem is one I often mention – I reccomend the audio from Audible)
Going back to changes seen during 2008, I’m also happy to have seen a considerable progress in my dealing with fear, although I don’t see last year as having been the real milestone – that’s this year when I begin to act with courage in the light of firmer foundations. My self-image still needs considerable work. I’m far too fearful down on myself if I really want to realise many of the dreams I have.
Ironically, by stating these things I’m only making the situation worse. It’s time for an end to ‘recognising’ things. Whilst recognition is the first step, it alone will not bring about any change.
OK. so let’s make 2009 the year of Action Without Fear.
You might think it silly to have to label a year like that. But I’m greatly encouraged by such statements. I love words. I love quotes. I even have an online collection of them at http://thanks.tumblr.com (although I’ve not added to it recently).
I only have one excuse left now.
I haven’t got time.
That’s a load of rubbish too though. Look at me, I’ve just spent two hours sitting at the kitchen table mumbling.
Many of my goals are related to online ventures. In the past week I’ve taken positive steps towards establishing 3 of them, doing things like purchasing domain names, contacting web hosts, and building a prototype site.
I’ve also taken action towards resurrecting the student of Japanese within me, by sorting out my various Anki databases.
Today, I made enquiries about taking time off work in order that I can dedicate a day or two a month to making these things happen, and that’s a distinct possibility.
I’m going to keep a record of action taken, and review it on a weekly basis. I need to do this to keep myself moving forward.
Anyway, I’d best be off to bed, I’m doing another photo shoot at the nail salon in Shibuya tomorrow night, and need to figure out what I’ll be doing for backdrops.
We’re back at *Twinkle*s parents for New Years Eve, as is the tradition when in Japan. This year I won’t be drinking, following a disastrous incident last time when I, along with *Twinkle*s two sisters’ British partners devoured a whole crate of beer between us – most of it went down my throat.
I feel it’ll be a nice quiet affair this year, with lots of food and some typically silly Japanese TV.
*Twinkle* and I have had a good day relaxing together. Following an easy morning spent watching Indiana Jones and eating tangerines (whilst tucked under the kotastu – a heated table which sits atop a pit in the floor for putting your legs in), we headed out on the family bicycles to LakeTown, the biggest shopping mall I’ve ever seen in my entire life. This huge development is located in the middle of a bunch of rice paddies here in Saitama, and even has its own (brand new) railway station. It has about 500 shops, and thus a huge variety – on the ground floor after passing a load of fantastically original restaurants (Disneyland-style decor, but more authentic), you’ll then find a fleet of shiney Toyota family saloons. There’s a gardening section, tonnes of cutey kiddies clothing stores, two large department stores, a cinema, a gym, three Starbucks, and a row of solar panels perched on the edge of the roof (which also serves as a car park).
I usually loathe shopping centres, and only ever went to MeadowHall (MeadowHell) in Sheffield in desperation when I was in need of a Mac Genius. But LakeTown surprised me. They’ve done a great job of creating a ‘nice’ space. It’s actually fun to walk around the place, and it’s so big that you can walk around looking at your iPhone without bumping into people. It has sexy interactive floor guides, and Universal Design Toilets.
The Universal Design Toilets
What more could you ask for?
We didn’t go there to shop though – in fact all we picked up was five pairs of slippers for the family feet (it’s blooming freezing at the mo). Instead, we spent several hours in a cafe making plans for the Tokyo Tame family’s next 1, 3, 5 and 10 years. We discussed moving house (and changed our minds once again), when the children are to be born (I guess that’ll be a guideline then), specific financial goals and more detailed goals regarding our careers. We also made promises and plans regarding use of free time.
For recharging your electric car
It’s really exciting to think that we can, to a certain extent, shape our own futures. The value of goal setting and future-life planning is something that we both heartely believe in, but don’t do as often as we could. This is the second year though that we’ve taken time out to make these ‘big plans’. Whilst we didn’t necessarily hit all of our targets for 2008, merely having them in mind throughout the year helped us make a lot of small decisions along the way (will this take us a little closer to our goals?).
Lucky bags on offer at LakeTown shops: Pay up to 15,000 yen (£60) for a bag, the contents of which are a mystery until after you’ve paid – hugely popular in Japan.
We’ll be printing our list out and hanging it somewhere where we often see it.
On the way home from LakeTown we were fortunate to get a great view of Mount Fuji, some 100+km to the South West of Koshigaya. It’s a shame we weren’t crossing that bridge a little earlier, but still, there was enough light remaining light to cause me to gasp and shout “Mount Fuji!” when I first looked to the West.
Mount Fuji from about 100km+ (this is what happens when you shoot in low light on ISO 1600 with a Nikon D40x!)