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Get Rich Quick Scheme #294
(another great failure)
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Get Rich Quick Scheme #294.


As I lay on my bed one warm summer's evening up in the Swiss Alps, it occurred to me that the answer to my cash-flow problem lay in the glass that I held: Beer.

You see, at Kleine Scheidegg, what with its overnight population of 30, there is nowhere to get a beer after 11pm. There's no shops, coca-cola is the strongest drug you'll get from the vending machine and the restaurant is shut. Every night, I'd have to share in the suffering of my colleagues as we thirsted for the precious fluid, most of us having already drunk the one or two bottles that we'd brought up from the village on our last voyage to the valley below.

Enter Joseph. Whenever I did make it down the mountain I'd always head straight for the Co-op, what with it's decent yoghurt and delicious bread it couldn't be beaten. It was also well known for one other product: cheap beer. Now, admittedly, it wasn't the best, but at 20 pence a bottle (a half litre bottle at that) you couldn't really say no. The reason not many people bought it was that carting it up and down the mountain was no easy task. Still, with the promise of a profit to lead me on I went ahead and bought 48 bottles, and spent the best part of an afternoon trying to get them back home (it had to be done in stages as I couldn't carry more than two crates at a time).

Leaving the village on the rack railway I considered how I would get the beer back to my room. I had to avoid being spied by the owners of the hotel where I lived and work - I mean, what would they think? They'd get some bizarre idea that I was irresponsible! Unfortunately my luck was not in, as the owner's brother got on the train at the midway stop and I was forced to explain why the four seats around me were stacked with crates of beer. Still, he did help me carry them back to the hotel once we reached Scheidegg, explaining that he knew what it was like when you need a beer but can't lay your hands on a bottle.

That evening in the staff room everyone was informed of the amazing deal on offer from room 415 - a cool beer for only 50 pence! It was less than half the price of any other beer in Scheidegg, and would give me a 150% profit.

Ten days later all the beer was gone. I'd sold one bottle and had a mighty big hangover.


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Returning the empties to the co-op with Dan

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