I just wish to apologise now for the appaling crapness of the essay that I am going to submit on Tuesday. It truly is a pile of pants – not the recently washed variety either. I think I read too much, and allowed too little time to distill all that wondrous knowledge into my 3450 word essay that I shall be deleting 150 words from later tonight. Oh, and incidentally, that’s including in-text references…

My arse is now requesting that I prize it off the chair that it has been welded to for the past 13 hours, here in the library. You can tell it’s dissertation season by the way – 9.45pm on a Sunday and packed!

Yours Truly,