“What you think of me is none of my business”
One of the harder challenges I’m facing is this business of not caring what other people think of me. It’s been a long bitter struggle, lasting for as long as I can remember, and of course it will never end – but I can work on not letting it affect me to such an extent. Getting back to my roots; oh to be a baby again!
One of the most useful realisations I’ve had this year in this area is that people don’t actually care. Curse our egos, always assuming that people are thinking about us! (My ego does indeed have a lot to answer for – isn’t it the one that demands that I be separate from my nose-picking source-mates?). But seriously, I do have this assumption that people are easily affected by my actions when forming an image of the kind of person that I am. This in term results in them wanting or not wanting to be around me, right?
Not so, or at least not to the extent that my ego would like to believe is the case. How can I say this with any degree of certainty? Well, I look at me and my own friends, think about their past actions, examine what judgments I have made following those actions, and finally the feelings I have towards them as people.
The fact is, is that I don’t really care what they do. If they are genuinely decent, honest, kind people then no matter what they do, I will still love them.
This is a great comfort, and gives me an enormous sense of freedom, one that I have never felt so keenly until now. The only proviso is that I remain true to myself, honest with and loving towards all those around me. The details of my life don’t really matter at the end of the day.
And if I were to judge my friends negatively due to their daily activities, what kind of friend would I be?
Anyway, it’s late, and I must sleep.
Another great day is in the can!
Smiles and sunshine,
I think being in Japan makes it a tad harder to think others aren’t thinking of you since we foreigners get undue attention on a daily basis simply for existing. It’d be easier to think no one was thinking about you if it weren’t so obvious that they are.
Among friends and family, however, I think you have it right. People don’t think about us nearly as much as we think they do.